Mom Stephanie Smith on Normalizing Asynchronous Development in Gifted Kids
Stephanie Smith has a gifted, learning-disabled child. Relatable? Twice Exceptionality is the focus of our talk, as Stephanie brings just the right amount of blunt realness to make you vigorously shake your head and say - "That's my kid!" (Or at least I did that, multiple times.)
We talk ALL about raising 2E, neurodiverse kids. Specifically, we focus on:
-Recognizing the gifts in neurodiverse people
-Society has set the parameters for "normal" - but it doesn't have to be that way
-High intelligence may only be in certain areas, and that's okay
-"Find the gold in your kid!"
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Overview: In this episode, I talk with Mom Stephanie Smith about finding the “gold” in your neurodiverse child - because asynchronous development often goes hand in hand with high intelligence, and both should be celebrated!
Excerpt #1: "If one part of your brain is developing so quickly that you're so far ahead, it would make sense that it's taking the energy from the other one that's going to develop slower and have to catch up, right? And so they say, a lot of these kids, most of them, things sort of even out later, but as an adult with an ADHD brain or an adult with dyslexia - some of those things stick, but they're deficits because of the way the world is set up and the expectations that we have. But they're not actually deficits in terms of the way that the world works, right? We look at how many people have done really, truly genuinely amazing things because they think differently, and they have ADHD and dyslexia, or Autism, or any of these things, because they're able to not look through the lens that we're all looking through all of the time."
Excerpt #2: "I just felt like he went through so many hard things for a while that it was hard not to coddle him a little bit. And sometimes it didn't even feel like coddling; it just felt like he needed things that might have been more ostensibly appropriate to children that were younger than him, because he just needed that. And it's knowing what your particular child needs at a given time, you know?" "Yes, and honestly, what you just said - where's the book that says, when raising a child, they should not have stuffed animals at 12, or they should not...You know, you're giving your child what he needs. It doesn't matter his age, you know? I don't know why we as a society are still doing that. There's the box, we're shoving the kids in it. You gotta fit in that box. You don't fit in that box, there's something wrong with you. Like - why? Just give them what they need, no matter the age."
Excerpt #3: "I don't want him to think he needs to be on a global stage, or change the world, or whatever else to be successful. I just want him to feel good about himself and use the things he's good at. Right? I don't want him to feel like it has to be some grand thing. So when you're always telling a kid how smart they are, or whatever - I try to - it was important to give him that, because he felt so stupid. And yet he knew it, he knew. But at the same time, without making him think he's superior, which I don't think he thinks, because he's got enough hard stuff that he gets that it's different. But also, that it (doesn't) mean it has to translate to something beyond just being happy."
Your turn: How do you find the gold in your child? DM me on Instagram @on.the.hard.days and share your thoughts with me! You are a rockstar, Mama!